It’s Your Fault – Chapter 1

Chapter 1

How do you define responsibility?
personal responsibility is one’s ability to take care of oneself by means of, keeping healthy, managing ones emotions, keeping a sound mind, treating yourself with respect, and etc….

Let’s look at a couple of scenarios and figure out what went wrong.

Mandy is 25. A single mother with 3 children. Her son is 4. Her girls are 7 and 10. She dropped out school at 15 when she her first child was born. Now she has a very hard life. Jobs are to find with an eighth grade education and they don’t pay enough to even cover daycare. So she lives on welfare and low income jobs, barely getting by and worrying about the future. She sees her children not growing up with the parenting she wants them to have, but if she does not work she can’t get by.

She believes the system is broken. She cannot understand why she can’t find a job that will give her a real future and the ability to live the middle class life her parents had and that she believes she deserves.

Mandy made a decision at fourteen that she was ready for sex. She had her first baby at fifteen, her second at eighteen and her last at twenty one. Three different dads and many other guys in between, she did not like being without A man. That decision left her where she could not find work because she had no help at home and without education she could not get a job that would pay enough to cover daycare costs.

Now she has a life issue. She worries her children will never go to college and be stuck in the same cycle she is in. What is now a problem that could last for generations, started with a bad decision?

Personal Responsibility is taking responsibility for your actions, accepting the consequences that come from those actions and understanding that what you do impacts those around you. (It’s your fault). You must acknowledging that you are solely responsible for the choices in your life and you must acknowledging that you are solely responsible for where the choices take you.

Sex at young age = baby at young age = no education = no job = no future for her = no future for her children.

William is 30. A bright guy with no job at the moment. He is one hundred ninety pounds overweight, type two diabetic and struggling in all areas of his health. Today he ate pizza and a donut for breakfast. No health insurance, no coverage and a sliding health profile he is very worried about the future. William does not think he has a real problem. He believes if he had a better income he would eat better and solve his health issues. But he is not doing anything now.

William liked to eat. His parents were a little heavy. He played football in high school but was always the big guy, not the popular guy. No girlfriends’ just friends left him depressed and so he ate. By the time he finished college he was not just big he was fat. He was so sloppy looking it was hard to get hired. His doctors told him lose weight or he was going to have serious health issues. He was more depressed so he ate more and ignored his body, gained weight, became diabetic, watched his health fail and now cannot work. He felt bad so he ate for comfort. He got larger felt worse, so he ate more. His cycle of stress caused him to balloon in size. At some point he was out of control and it became a mental illness. But first it was a decision to not care.

Overweight parents = overweight kid = loneliness = eat for comfort = gain more weight = lost ability to work = cycle to more weight.

Mark liked getting high. He smoked a lot of weed in high school and college. He had married his high school girlfriend, achieved success at his job and thought his life was going well, then he moved up to cocaine. Things got bad. His wife stayed for a while until he lost the lost the house. He kept the job for a while until he was arrested while buying from an undercover cop. He moved home with his loving parents for a while until they got tired of him stealing from them to buy his high. Now he lives on the street, still young he sells sex to older men to have enough money to support his heroin habit. He does not have a disease; he has just made a lot of bad choices.

Messed around with drugs = liked the high = moved up through stronger drugs to keep getting a better high = lost everything.

They all have one thing in Common. They all believe they are not the problem. They believe outside forces have caused their problems. They don’t acknowledge that they are solely responsible for the choices in their lives but they all believe others are at fault for where their lives are now.

You may believe these are extreme examples, but these are all pretty common scenarios. As Christians we are not immune to this mindset. We buy into the victim mindset this world lives in. Let’s look at how we live our lives and why we are where we are. Some of this will not be easy but all of this will help us go to the word.

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